


My Touchstone

by DKSculder



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe, Episode: s07e02 Amor Fati
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 10:23:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7614421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DKSculder/pseuds/DKSculder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Mulder didn't come back from the forced dream world as quickly as he would have liked?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Fox Mulder sat dazed at the dinner table, the sounds of family - _his family_ - bustling around him. He didn't know how to respond or react to this picture perfect life that had been set before him. Cancerman had brought him here, and given him his sister. The one truth he always wanted was just handed to him. The only catch was that he had to stay in this facade of his life. Here, he was married to Diana Fowley, and he lived in a quiet neighborhood where his sister was always within arms reach. He was not to seek anymore answers, but with his sister right in front of him, he didn't have anything else to search for. He had found his truth. 

"Fox?" Samantha asked, a bit concerned about how distant he seemed.

"Wh - What?" Mulder mumbled in response.

"I asked if you still wanted to do Christmas here?" Samantha asked again.

"Oh, uh, yeah sure that's fine."

"Fox and I would love to have the whole family here. It'll be our first real Christmas together." Diana interjected, reaching for Mulder's hand.

He pulled away from her, and abruptly leapt to his feet. He was overwhelmed with everything that had transpired, and didn't know how to react to anything in this life. He needed to leave and clear his head. 

"I - I'm just going to go for a run. Excuse me." he mumbled as he ran upstairs to change.

"Fox?" Diana knocked lightly as she entered his room. _Their_ room. The thought made Mulder shudder. 

"Please leave me alone, Diana." Mulder growled. He didn't want to deal with her yet. He honestly didn't know how. 

"Fox, I know this has been thrown at you. But we could be happy here. This life, it's what you've wanted. Your sister is here and you can catch up on anything in her life that you have missed. I - I'm also here, Fox." She whispered the last part as she touched his arm to make him turn to her. 

"I didn't ask for you to be here!" Mulder exclaimed. Diana stepped back as though she was slapped. 

"You and I loved each other before Fox, we can get there again. You just need to give us time. I'm not going anywhere, and obviously you aren't either." Her tone changed, as though she was completely emotionless. 

Maybe that's because she was. Mulder mused how she left him in their previous life. Or their past of their current life? He honestly didn't know anymore.

"I just need to clear my head. This is a lot, and I didn't really have a say in any of it. I'll be back later." He swiftly got around her and left for his run. 

 

* * *

 

Running was the only thing that Mulder could do that would give him some kind of control in his current situation. He had lost it in every other aspect of his life, and he needed something to tether him to normalcy. A normalcy for him, anyway. 

As he ran, mixed emotions came flushing out of him. Sure, he was happy to have his sister back. It's the only thing he ever really searched for, it was his life quest. But what do you do when that quest has been fulfilled? 

Mulder thought that when he found Samantha, he would have felt more freedom than he felt now. He thought the weight that he had been carrying for decades would dissipate. However, now he felt more trapped and lost than he ever was before. 

What Diana said was true, he wanted this life with his sister in it. But he knew with the Cancerman involved, it was never going to be as it seemed. He also came to the realization that leaving would not come without major consequences. If he was able to leave at all. 

As Mulder headed "home," he ran past the same three models of houses that lined the neighborhood. _His_ neighborhood. The thought made him wince. Everything seemed too perfect in this life. All the houses had the same Arcadian feeling emanating from them. 

Arcadia.

 _Scully_. 

He stopped dead in his tracks. How could he have been so absorbed in this new twist of fate to easily forget exactly what was wrong in this world? 

He would never be truly happy here, even with Samantha back, because he didn't have Scully to share it with. 

Mulder couldn't stay here. He would never survive. Sure, he could live through daily motions, but that's all they would ever be. Without Scully here, he would become a shell of a human that everyone once knew to be Fox Mulder. He would completely turn inside of himself and shut down. He didn't know how to live without Scully, and he depended on her more than he would ever care to admit. Knowing this truth, he couldn't do that to Samantha. She deserved more than to watch her older brother become nothing more than a sorry excuse for a man. 

He had to get back to his life, but he didn't know how to give up Samantha, or where to even start. 

Mulder needed answers, and he was afraid he had to turn to the enemy for them. He would do anything to get back to Scully, even if he had to sell his soul to the devil. 

Mulder chuckled to himself at this thought. He felt like he had made that deal already to get here.  

 


	2. Chapter 2

As Mulder walked in the front door of his house, he saw Samantha sitting on the couch with Diana waiting for him. Conversation came to a holt as they both turned at his entrance, and Diana wordlessly got up and walked past him to head upstairs. 

"Fox, I - I know you must have a lot of questions. I want to help you and answer anything I can." Samantha said, treading carefully to try to read her brother's mood. 

"Sam, I'm sorry I haven't been more excited since coming here. I've missed you so much, you have to know that," he said softly as he sat down next to her. "I want to be part of this life, of your life, but I don't know if I can stay here." 

"This life isn't so bad. I've been here a long time. Spender brought me here as a child and raised me, Fox." Mulder winced as Sam spoke so highly of someone he carried such a hatred for.

"I know you two have your differences, but I need you to try - for me" Sam continued. "I've wanted you here with me for a long time, but I knew you weren't ready. When Spender said he thought it was time to bring you here, I was ecstatic. Now that you're here, I can see that maybe it was a little too soon."

Mulder chuckled "Sam, it would have never been too soon to see you again. I have been searching for you for so long."

Samantha smiled to see her brother easing "I know, Fox. We are together now though. You could even start your own family here, with Diana."

Mulder's mood immediately plummeted again. "Diana is not anyone I ever want to start a family with. She may have been at one point, but never now. Not after Sc - " Mulder stopped himself. He didn't know where that thought was going, or he didn't want to admit it to himself. He sighed, "Things have changed a lot between Diana and myself. She used me, she's lied to me, and she works for people who have only hurt me most of my life. I could never trust her, let alone be married to her."

"Fox, you have to try." Samantha said worriedly. "I - I overheard Spender talking before you arrived here. I don't know who he was talking to, but he made it very clear that if you did not stay here and 'play house' as he put it, there would be severe consequences. I don't want you to get hurt. Please."

"I need to talk to him. Now, Sam. I need you to call him here now." Mulder fumed. 

"You need to calm down. Just - just sleep on it, and I can set up a time for tomorrow. You're exhausted, emotionally and physically, and I don't want you doing anything rash." Sam said as assuring as possible. 

"Fine. Tomorrow, I am getting my answers though. Sam, having you back in my life is the best thing to happen to me, but I can't live like this. I need - more. There's things, missing, from this life and I don't think I'll survive without them." Mulder said softly. 

Sam just looked at her brother and saw the sadness in his eyes. She knew that it wasn't because of her, as she saw his eyes light up the moment he was reacquainted with her. It was like a part of him was missing, and he wasn't a whole person sitting in front of her. She suddenly felt like there were things left out in the story she was told by Spender, and that maybe she needed answers as much as Fox did. 

"I will be with you while you talk to him. I think it'll be better for everyone that way." She kissed his cheek as she rose from the couch to head for the door. "Goodnight, Fox. Tomorrow."

Mulder nodded. "Goodnight, Sam." 

 

* * *

 

 Mulder stripped down to his boxers and made himself comfortable on the couch. He didn't want to deal with Diana, and he honestly knew it was just a war waiting to happen. Much to his disappointment, he heard footsteps start to descend down the stairs. 

As Diana stood in front of the couch he was laying on, Mulder sat up, still avoiding her eyes.

"Fox? You should come to bed. I'm sorry about our fight earlier, but I meant what I said. We could really work here, and be together like I know we both have wanted. You've loved me before, and I - I never stopped loving you." Diana said as innocently as she could sound. 

Mulder snapped, he shot up to his feet and started pacing. "LOVING ME? You think forcing me to be here in this fucking Stepford neighborhood married to you is love? You've trapped me here, against my will might I add, so I could what? Play house with you?!"

Mulder studied her face for any reaction to Spender's words. _Play house_. He suspected that Diana was on the other end of the call that Sam had overheard, and based on the slight widening of her eyes, he had confirmed his suspicion. Diana was working with Cancerman, and had been for a while. As to her motive, he wasn't entirely sure, but he somehow knew that he was her prize for whatever task she had accomplished. 

"You don't have any idea what you're talking about! I want to be here with you. You and I have a trust, and a relationship that we can build again." Diana said, slowly fuming. 

"TRUST?! You have been working behind my back with that black-lunged son of a bitch for who knows how long, and you expect me to trust you?! You walked out of my life years ago, Diana. At the time, I fell apart, and as much as I hate to admit, I was a fucking wreck. I threw myself into my work, the work _you_ left behind, and I got over it." Mulder continued, "You came back into my life just to fuck with my head again, and congratulations, you succeeded. I'll give you that point Diana, but I will not give you the satisfaction of having my trust, or my love ever again."

Diana slightly smirked. "Oh Fox, you already did trust me again. That's why you're here. Spender will never let you leave to poke around in his work again, so you might as well learn to live with this life. You don't have to love me, but you will learn to listen to me. I have a lot more power here than you may think, and I'm not the one you want as an enemy."

Mulder raged, but he was so angry that he had nothing more to say to her. He needed answers to fight Diana, and he was at a disadvantage with no one here to have his back. 

Diana stopped halfway up the stairs, pulling Mulder out of his thoughts. "Oh and Fox?" Diana scoffed, "It makes you wonder how things would have ended up differently if you would have listened to that little partner of yours, doesn't it?" She smirked, with an evil gleam in her eye. She knew with Fox's perseverance she would never win the war, but she had won the small battles along the way. Mentioning Scully was a guaranteed blow to him. 

Mulder sat back down on the couch and sighed with his eyes closed. How could he have been so stupid to trust Diana over Scully? He needed to find his way back, back to her. The problem was, he didn't even know where he was. Was this some alternate universe or some deep hallucination that he would never wake from? 

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would have more answers, even if he had to beat them out of the devil himself. 


	3. Chapter 3

Mulder woke with a start, and the confusion of his surroundings slowly began to set in. He began to panic as he focused on his unfamiliar setting. Then it hit him, this was his new reality, his living nightmare. He groaned as his head pounded, and he got up to in search of water. He found a note on the counter from Diana:

_Fox,_

_I will be gone most of the day. We will talk later._

_Don't do anything stupid._

_Love,_

_Diana_

Mulder scoffed at her audacity to act as though they were a real couple who just had a marital dispute. If she never returned, it wouldn't be a loss to him personally. He was amused at how easily those feelings came now, after learning her true alliances. 

He knew he had to face the Cancerman today, and wasn't at his best to do so, but he didn't have a choice. He needed answers, and he found himself wanting them - needing them - more than he ever had sought the answers about Samantha. He reflected on this need and realized it was all attached to Scully. He wanted her, he needed her. 

Their relationship had been progressing recently in a more intimate nature. Not in the biblical sense, but he knew he was in love with her. Hell, he had been for a long time although he never admitted it to himself. If he was being honest, he was terrified of the rejection from her. She was his best friend, and he knew she would never outright reject him, but he would never want her to feel obligated to return the feelings he held for her. 

All these thoughts came crashing to Mulder at once. Scully was his social validity, his tether to being a decent human.

That's when Mulder realized that Scully had become his new truth, his new quest, and he would stop at nothing until he achieved it. 

 

* * *

 

Diana walked into the house that Spender had set himself up in within their neighborhood. He had called her here early this morning, and she was slightly uneasy about this meeting because of the smug tone in his voice. 

She smelled the freshly lit cigarette before she saw him sitting in the dining room, "Please, have a seat." He said with a puff of smoke. 

"What did you want to see me about? I thought my task was done. He's here, as you asked." Diana said hurriedly. 

Spender just smiled at her "That he is. How are things going on the homefront? I seem to remember you promising that you could keep him in line. How is that working for you?" 

"We've had some, disagreements, but I think with more time he will come around. Once he realizes he can't really leave here on his own, he will start to seek answers from what's directly in front of him. Fox's weakness is his loneliness, and it will drive him mad. I have everything handled." She tried to hide the waver and uncertainty in her voice.

Spender just stared at her through the cigarette smoke impassively, "It seems you've already lost control of the task you have at hand. He suspects there is a way out of this, and is willing to make a deal to leave. He had Samantha call a meeting with me this afternoon." 

Diana paled. She didn't know what her consequences would be since she couldn't handle the task she was assigned, but she knew it wouldn't be good. She had misjudged her loyalties and now she feared what that meant for her future. 

"Wh-What do you need me to do?" She asked cautiously.

"I have a new task for you Agent Fowley." His slimy smile making her wince. "I want you to bring Agent Scully to the lab where Agent Mulder's body is currently being detained."

Diana's eyes grew wide. "She'll never believe me, or trust me. How do you expect me to do that exactly?" She was becoming flustered.

"I don't care to know your plan to achieve this task, it is just imperative that you do. We will wake you from this dream world, so that you may return back to reality. From there, you are on your own. You must get her to the lab by this evening."

"This evening?! You're not even giving me an entire day? She will never go for anything I could possibly have planned!" Diana fumed.

Spender smiled at her anger. "Well then it looks like you have your work cut out for you. I wish you the best of luck Agent Fowley, as you will need it most if you do not succeed." He began to stand and leave the room, leaving one of his lab henchmen with Diana to wake her from this world. He turned just as he was leaving the room, "Oh and Agent Fowley, give Agent Scully my best. I will be seeing her soon." With another puff of smoke, he left the room and Diana was being hooked up to return from this dream world. 

Diana was fuming at the fact that she not only had to find a way to get Scully to trust her, but that they would be bringing her here? Why? That didn't make any sense to give Mulder all that he wanted. She had more questions, now more than ever, but what filled her mind mostly was fear. She feared that she couldn't complete this task, and didn't know what that meant for her life. 

 

* * *

 

Samantha had come over that afternoon to have lunch with Fox. She knew he was antsy about the meeting with Spender, and she really wanted him to be as calm as possible. She knew these two were at odds, and that Spender held a lot more power than Fox. Her brother was defenseless here, and she feared that would work at a disadvantage for him, that he would feel he has nothing to lose. 

"Fox, do you - do you want to talk about anything before he gets here? It could help if I know more about what you want, so that I might be able to help you get it. He raised me, he trusts me. I want to help you as much as I can." Samantha said in a small voice.

Mulder smiled at her. "Sam, you're doing enough just by being here. I don't know if I said it at all, but I appreciate it." His head sagged. "You're all that I have now." 

That thought brought laughter to Mulder. How ironic, after all these years searching for his lost sister, and now she was all he had in this world. 

Samantha eyed him as he chuckled to himself. He didn't want to talk, and she wouldn't push him, but she had some questions of her own. 

"If you don't want to talk, that's fine, Fox. But I have some things I need straightened out before he arrives." 

"Yeah, okay, ask away." Mulder said as his laughter subsided.

"He - he told me that you were working on some things that could potentially bring a lot of danger into your life, and that bringing you here was the only way to keep you safe. He said that you wanted to see me, and that by bringing Diana with you, you would have someone here for you by your side. It was my final decision to bring you here, and that's why I agreed to it." Samantha said all in one breath. "I need to know how much of that was true. I need to know if I made a mistake."

Mulder grabbed her hand. "Sam, look at me. I did want to see you, more than anything. That may be the only truth in all of that. Well, I was working on some things he didn't want me poking around in," he grinned, "but it was because I was searching for answers about you." He said with a small smile, and sincerity in his voice. 

"I don't know how much bringing me here was protecting me as much as it was keeping me out of the way." He scoffed, "And having Diana here is more of a punishment than anything else." Sam winced at the bitterness in his tone, and Mulder finished assuredly, "You didn't make a mistake though, being here with you, getting my answers, that opened my eyes to so many things. I searched for you for so long, and you were the most important person in my life. Now that I've had this closure to know that you're okay, I realized that I haven't been searching for some truths that were right in front of me. I've pushed a lot of things to the side for you, and I don't regret that, but now that I don't have to, I'm ready to move on in a different aspect in my life." 

Sam looked into her brother's hazel eyes and saw them shine for the first time since he got here. Whatever aspects in his life that brought that to him, she wanted him to keep it there. When he arrived she saw so much darkness in his eyes and dark lines on his face. He had a hard life, that much she could tell, but there was something that brought light into it. Sam was determined to do whatever she could to make sure he never loses that light. 

Before Samantha could respond, there was a knock on the door. She felt Fox's hand stiffen over hers, and she squeezed his reassuringly and smiled at him as she got up to answer. 

The three of them sat in the living room, Fox and Samantha on the couch, and Spender on the chair across from them. So many secrets floated around the room between them that you could feel the heaviness in the air. 

"Agent Mulder, to what do I owe this pleasure of a meeting?" Spender slyly smiled as he lit up a cigarette. 

 

* * *

 

Diana Fowley had returned to reality and was at a complete loss at how to convince Scully enough to get her to the lab. She ran through so many scenarios, and she felt the best one was to make it seem as though she was trying to help. She had to admit, her track record wasn't working in her favor, but she knew that slipping Scully her keycard to access the lab that contained Mulder would peak enough curiosity out of the small redhead. She knew that Scully would do anything to find Mulder, and wouldn't pass up the opportunity to check out a small lead, even it meant she would come up empty handed.

She smiled to herself and realized just how much working with Mulder had rubbed off on Scully. She knew it would work to her advantage, and she couldn't afford to mess this up.  

Diana watched from the observation room above the lab, making sure to keep herself out of sight. She wanted to watch her plan unfold, and guarantee that she did not fail this task. She was also curious as to what would happen when Agent Scully would arrive. She didn't know what Spender's plans were, and was being kept in the dark. Spender's last words to her,  _I will be seeing her soon,_ ran through her head over and over. What could that mean? 

She was brought out of her thoughts as Agent Scully was entering the lab. 

She watched the tiny agent try to rouse her unconscious partner, and felt a twinge of jealousy over the intimacy that she could see they shared.

_"Please, Mulder."_ She could hear Scully exclaim as a tear fell down the redhead's cheek.

 Just then, Scully was taken by surprise and injected with a drug by one of Spender's lab henchmen, causing her to collapse into his waiting arms. Diana watched as he settled the now unconscious redhead on a table next to Mulder's lying form. Diana's suspicions were confirmed as to the drug that was administered to Agent Scully when the henchmen made a call stating "Phase 1 was complete. She will be waking there shortly."

Diana scoffed at the idea of Mulder and Scully being reunited. As she was turning to leave she heard the clock of a gun come from the shadows of the room, and froze. She heard "Phase 2" right before the shot rang out in her ears. She lay there in what was now becoming a pool of her own blood, looking up into the eyes of another one of Spender's henchmen. He stood over her, and directed the gun directly at her forehead. He whispered "complete" right before his final shot rang out, and the execution of Diana Fowley was a task to check off the Cancerman's list. 

 

* * *

 

Spender had already had confirmation that his plan was in full effect. Agent Scully would be arriving shortly, and Diana Fowley was taken out. He was sad to see that relationship severed, but she was a loose end, and not needed anymore. Plans had changed. He mused over how well his plan was working as he watched the anger build inside Mulder. 

Mulder was getting no where trying to deal with Cancerman. They had been at it for two hours already, and he felt he had more questions than answers. Samantha had tried to keep him as calm as possible, fearing that he would overreact and do something to endanger himself further.

"So this is some kind of sick, fucked up alternate universe?!" Mulder's voice began to rise.

"Agent Mulder, as I've explained, it is a form of a hallucination. Your body is in the reality in which we come from, but your mind and soul lives here now. You should be thanking me, you have your sister back as you've always wanted." He smiled at Samantha. 

"How the hell do I get back? I don't belong here! I need to get back to Sc- I just can't stay here!" Mulder growled.

"Ah, Agent Scully is the thing you desire the most in _this_ world as well, I see? Well Agent Mulder, I have much respect for your partnership, and you will have what you desire soon enough." He smiled smugly at Mudler, with a hint of mischief in his eyes.  

This look was not lost on Mulder. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER?! I swear to god if you even so much as touched her, I will kill you." Mulder was enraged now. No one was going to stop him from murdering the smoking bastard. Not here or in reality. 

Spender was not phased by Mulder's outburst and got up to level himself face to face with the angry man standing before him. He puffed smoke in Mulder's face and smiled, "You will have your answers soon enough Agent Mulder, and then you can thank me for all that I have given you. I am doing all of this out of your best interest, I assure you." Before Mulder could answer, Cancerman made his smoky exit. 

Samantha let the silence settle over the room as she put her arms around her brother's shoulders. He had sat back down next to her, releasing the breath he didn't know he was holding, and cradled his head in his hands. 

"Fox, I know it may not seem this way, but I honestly think things will work themselves out. Whatever's meant to be, will happen. You have to believe that." Samantha said, trying to soothe him. "And just know, that I'm not going anywhere."

Mulder let out a small chuckle. "I have to believe. I don't know what to believe anymore. I've just been told I'm trapped in some warped dream that was induced on me, and that people can basically enter and exit as they wish. Oh, but not me, I'm always the exception, right?" He ranted on. "I don't mean to be ungrateful to you, Sam. I just can't deal with anymore bullshit. I've been betrayed too many times, and the one person I trusted the most, I betrayed. That's how I ended up here. Following the wrong people." 

Mudler sighed. "Sam, I appreciate you being here, and you have to know that I love you. I'm sorry if it seems like I don't want to be part of your life, because I do. I just, I'm missing a piece of me here, and I don't know if I can survive without it. Without her." His voice trailed off.

"She's that important to you?" Sam asked.

"Yes." Mulder said with no hesitation in his voice.

Samantha sighed. "I will see what I can do. I will ask him what he knows about her, and if he can give me a status on her back in your reality. I'm sure he knows a lot more than he is letting on, and I will try to get those answers for you."

Mulder looked at his sister with such admiration. Living in this world had done so much good for her, even if it was a hallucination of a world. He was sorry that he couldn't share this kind of world with her, but he needed to get back, even if that meant never seeing her again. 

"Thank you" was all Mulder was able to whisper in response. His emotions were rising, and he suddenly felt exhausted. 

Sam nodded, kissed him on the cheek and told him to rest. As she left, Mulder realized he need that more than he thought. He lay back on the couch and closed his eyes.

A few hours later Mulder startled awake again. He knew he must be having nightmares, but couldn't remember what they were about. Leave it to him to still have nightmares in a dream world. He sat back and dwelled over all of the events that had transpired in the past few days. He felt his emotions coming over him again, and needed to run to blow off some steam.

He walked upstairs and as he approached the bedroom he heard movement. At first he panicked, but remembered that Diana said she would be back later. He relaxed only enough to know he wasn't in any immediate danger, but the disgust inside him started to build. He really didn't want to face her, but would have to get it over with if he wanted to get his running gear.

He slowly opened the door to the bedroom, and peered inside. He didn't see anyone moving around, and the room was still dark. Just as he walked inside the door and turned on the light, he felt a light blow to the back of his head.

He fell to the floor with a grunt. "What the hell?!"

"Mulder?" She whispered in disbelief. 

That voice. He knew that voice. It was the voice he longed to hear every minute of every day. It was like music to his ears. It was the voice of his best friend, the love of his life. It was a voice he was slowly starting to give up hope on ever hearing again. 

"Scully." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
